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It's one of those rare and perfect days here in New Mexico. It is still cool enough to be tolerable and yet warm enough to get away with light pants and a short sleeve shirt. My sweater is tucked away in the truck and I even dared flip flops today. If I pretend to be easy and comfortable maybe I will actually start to feel that ( Read more... )

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I don't know how to feel tonight. It would be so much easier if I did. I wouldn't hurt so deeply all the while be so grateful that things seem to be settling down, even if I'm feeling a bit on the outskirts. I always feel that way, though. Childish, perhaps, but my feelings come from a place of authenticity. I am in a ( Read more... )

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I got to DC feeling better, if not great. My heart should be calmer and it is I suppose ( Read more... )

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Dear Jenny ( Read more... )

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I don't know if she knows that I know. I heard them talking last night when I went in after checking on the horses. He confronted her and to her credit, she didn't deny it. I knew it was coming, I just knew. I'm not sorry about what we have. I am sorry that it came to light like it did. I'm sorry because I don't know what's ( Read more... )

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I never wanted to be a Princess, but sometimes it would be nice if someone felt like I was worthy of being treated like one.

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You'll excuse me while I sink into depression for the next few days. I'll be back East but can't see J or Jenny. My headache grows worse by the minute. I have a guest coming that I just don't have the energy for. I'm just wondering where I fit into everything right now ( Read more... )

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When I was first diagnosed, I went home and took out my personal sidearm. I held it in my hand, feeling the weight of the barrell, the heft in my hand. I took off the safety, watching my fingers work the weapon that was so much a part of me. I never missed. The gun, part of any law enforcement officer's soul, was at the ( Read more... )

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To My Child ( Read more... )